I learned a good lesson today. A customer from our shop felt that she had been cheated, but when I checked up on the legal side I found that she actually hadn’t been cheated. But the shop also made a mistake in how they dealt with things and so we were willing to meet her halfway in what she wanted. I called the customer to explain but as soon as she realised that she wasn’t going to get exactly what she wanted she hung up on me, without giving me a chance to meet her halfway.

I think she hung up on me because she felt powerless and hanging up was one way of regaining some kind of power. It’s also pretty rude, and I guess she felt justified in her rudeness because it was only equal to our rudeness. Perhaps she didn’t want to get angry and become verbally abusive so she cut herself off before it came to that. Perhaps she was so caught up in blaming that it all had to be someone’s Fault, and if the law said it wasn’t our Fault then it must be her Fault and she didn’t want to hear about that.

I could have dealt with it better too. I could have gotten her on-side by starting with the sweetener, pointing out where we went wrong first and then where she went wrong afterwards.

But it made me think about how we limit ourselves with our expectations, and our expectations of others, and how we can sometimes cut people off once we hear or don’t hear what we were waiting for. It was a good lesson.

• Kristen (Tokyo) said on 08/08/21 at 08:22 PM.....

  I admire your skill in replaying an event and figuring out the good and bad sides of it. Knowing what made it tick (or tock) the way it did is something most people can’t see. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

• T (At the office) said on 08/08/26 at 07:03 PM.....

  I think you forgot one option:  people are generally cowards and act all tough when it is over the phone or over email. 

  <am still reeling from a night of customer support for RUDE anonymous people.>

• arumanda said on 08/09/01 at 04:40 AM.....

  i agree with kristen, i always enjoy reading your wise observations and reflections.

  for me, i think running a business in japan where the customer is god and always right, no matter what, really taught me many things about customer service and keeping people happy. if theyre happy, theyll come back, forever.  it bothered me in the beginning to always be apologizing and giving away stuff and taking blame in situations that seemed so silly to me, but our customers remained eternally loyal to us and through word of mouth the business was built up into rather large numbers at a rapid rate.  of course, its a balance of meeting them halfway, as you say. but i guess that half way point can be a different places depending on the culture it is located.  its interesting to observe customer service in different countries. it speaks volumes about the culture itself.

  thanks for sharing and for causing me also to reflect.